January 2009
it wasn’t until recently that i realized how vastly i had underestimated the amount of time i sit in my room doing nothing.
“You were right about the stars / Each one is a setting sun”
– Wilco, “Jesus, Etc.”
i was going to go to sleep, but i thought i’d listen to “i am trying to break your heart”
and kept listening.
“jesus don’t cry / you can rely on me honey”
plaintive, plain, pain, pa
the reason the population is so big is that people come and go in our lives, but after they leave, they can’t just disappear —
so they stick around. and so it goes for everyone.
one day, the last unnecessary transient acquaintance will break the back of the earth
and we will all fall tumbling down into the same massive pit
where we realize that we need each other like we...
i know it’s in the spirit of jokeitude, but i still think it’s curious that people joke about not reading and not knowing how to work their computers in a way that they wouldn’t joke about not being polite or not knowing how their cars work.
in regards to claimed ignorance about computers, it’s especially curious for people who seem to be very into or highly dependent on...
“strangers in the wind” by cut copy reminds me of “don’t fear the reaper.”
these hands like strangers in the wind these eyes float in the breeze these hands like strangers in the wind this voice calling to me
typing “haha” without laughing.
“You can’t spell esophagus without phag.”
“You gotta give ‘em hope.”
– Harvey Milk
eggos ain't nothin' to fuck wit
in the spirit of mcdonald’s “i’m lovin’ it,” we bring you:
a “leggo my eggo” campaign for a more urban target audience.
“Dude, just look it up, it’s too complicated to explain.”
– Nikhil, after attempting to explain the plot of Horton Hears a Who
horton hears a jew
a story of nazi germany
a map of the U.S. (or some other geographic area) that is coloured in places where there are slums or low-income housing. then plays in animation (or is draggable via slider) to see changes.
teledildonics is going to be huge.
“When will Dr. Manhattan start his Twitter?”
– The New Frontiersman on Flickr: Links, Pics, Videos, and News
give up the talk of free software as free speech.
when my friends bobby and jon first introduced me to the idea of free software and open source, they used this catchphrase, “free as in speech, not free as in beer,” to explain what the idea was all about.
at this point, this entire post breaks down, because there are two possible ways a person can react to that statement:
well, duh. (if they already know what free software and open...
Mike: batting your eyelashes is nothing like blinking very fast
fyi
me: oh
then what is it?
Mike: it's kinda hard to explain. you basically close your eyes halfway and then tense up with your eye muscles
me: oh
i just tried that
it made me look like david paterson
Mike: hahaha
all of a sudden, i'm wondering if it's harder with asian eyes
me: possibly?
i don't think so
plenty of asian women bat their eyelashes too
Mike: but it may be harder with narrower eyes
me: i dunno
let's do a scientific test
A Fable
I once courted a full-grown moose on the great plains of Missouri. It was a carnal affair, full of passion and pleasure, and yet, when it ended, I did not feel amiss. All good things must come to an end. The moose, however, not comprehending this simple precept, was heartbroken, and spent a fortnight far afield from any form of civilization, lowing in alternated frequencies to the sky above. ...
race: you use it or lose it.
twenty-nine heaps.
fuck your concern.
the unconscious good bit of the facebook status trope of “X is Y” is that even though it’s clearly not who or what you are, it kind of IS what you are all about for a few moments in time. you sink into something and you come out changed.
sometimes i wake up and my hair hurts, presumably from being held in a certain way while i slept. anyone know why this is and whether particular positions of hair result in the pain?
i don’t like go-getters.
“Hey, do you think you could…you know…could you…would...”
i am pretty much a philosophical drama queen.
i see threats to the MEANING of things everywhere. how does painting while doing kung fu alter the very FABRIC of racial and cultural interactions in a society sitting on the border between multi-racial and post-racial? what does my body’s physical inability to break up a fight in the street SAY about my fulfillment of basic moral obligations and about my masculinity?
“philosophical...
i have yet to actually see her in anything, but word on the street is that aubrey plaza is going to be hot shit soon. she’s in funny people, the next judd apatow project; public service, the new amy poehler TV project; and mystery team, the independent comedy created by derrick comedy.
so, it pretty much makes enough sense that i can trust virtual reality to match up to real reality.
asians exploiting themselves, etcetera
legitimacy of cultural heritage, or:
what if a non-asian person did this shit?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEfiULkwBbk
because to be honest, this shit seems just a little exploitative. the whole bruce lee / enter the dragon thing, and doing vague martial arts moves while painting while dressed in chinese clothing…it’s cool, yeah, but its placement in the talent portion of a...
dude, what is it with the hair?
how is it that every time some politician comes up on the scene, suddenly everyone is talking about his or her hair? when blagojevich got arrested, everyone was talking about his hair. i don’t even remember what they were saying about it, just that they were talking about it, as if that was why he had been arrested, for HAIR CRIMES, not trying to sell off a senate seat. even the people...
so how exactly does batting your eyelashes work? is it just blinking really fast? because i tried that to see if i could do it, and that made my eyes hurt. it was like what i imagine an epileptic attack to be.
“Dylan could insinuate his way toward a feeling through opaque phrases and...”
– Playing the Beatles Backwards: The Ultimate Countdown - “I’m a Loser”
Neil Gaiman wins the Newbery! →
oul:
The kind of thing that gladdens the soul.
Hufflepuff: house of losers
Couldn’t J.K. Rowling have come up with a fourth great quality that Hogwarts students could have, instead of being like, “Ehh…bravery, wit, cunning…fuck the rest of ‘em, let’s pack them into the loser house.”
Think about how traumatizing that would be: You don’t even get the opportunity to prove your own social status, you just show up to school,...
i remember that when i was a little kid, whenever i saw a movie, it would stay with me for days afterwards — i would run over the scenes in my head, repeating funny bits of dialogue and replaying all the catchy tunes (most of the movies I saw in theatres were Disney musicals). movies were a kind of magical drug that left me spinning in their wake, and i remember thinking to myself that i...
“Did you just say something of value, or…?”
“love in this club” has a nice relaxing hook, but jesus are the lyrics absurd.
funk satellites
orbiting you and me
my fiction is shallow.
rereading it is pain.
This defines terrible: http://www.myspace.com/natalise
everything is work.
it’s all activity.
original props to vikram and sheehan/larry.
i still can’t get over the fact that bernie mac is dead.
perhaps this says something about the nature of celebrity. it’s almost as if they lead a phantasmic existence, entering your world only intermittently, when it’s time to entertain, and never really as themselves. when someone is dead, the impact of their death is measured in the magnitude of their lack — when they...
i appreciate the aesthetics of fashion just fine, but something in me dies a little when people feel compelled to classify their threads by brand or label. i don’t even know why — it’s definitely a useful criterion for understanding clothing in the context of trends or the development of an individual designer or corporate style, and for seeking out similar clothing in the...
there is something really...disingenuous about the...
too quick a turnaround to epiphanies, a trivialization of challenges.
nothing is insurmountable in a college admissions essay.
there is no direction but forward.
no wallowing is allowed.
this is yet another thing that makes me unexpectedly feel like weeping.
i’m becoming a regular sufjan stevens.
i lack a certain finesse.
“Seen by some as intentionally surreal and even satirical at times, Self Portrait...”
– Self Portrait (Bob Dylan album) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I just found out that The Roots will be the house band for the new Late Night with Jimmy Fallon show. One day, I will tell my kids about how cool The Roots were, and my kids will go, “What? That hokey band on that shitty late night talk show with the out-of-date host who makes bad jokes about whatever the futuristic equivalent of Stupid Human Tricks is?” And then I will have to...
“What if the real Slim Shady was a paraplegic? Then he couldn’t stand up,...”
– Vikram
wtf, norah jones is the daughter of ravi shankar?