January 2010
my gut reactions to what i’ve read about citizens united v. federal elections commission are mixed. on the one hand, i recoil at much of the rhetoric that somehow, unbelievably claims that protecting corporate free speech in the form of political financing is a great boon for democracy. on the other hand, i am a little disturbed by the accompanying suggestions that restrictions on...
everything is delayed two days.
i told a friend about the jonathan zittrain book the future of the internet and how to stop it, and upon hearing the title, he immediately said something like, ‘see, i just dislike those people who claim bad things are coming.’ then i explained what the book was really about, and he was more okay with that.
man, that pissed me off.
Everything is under review.
i once had the utmost respect for a stalk of broccoli, but i quickly got over that.
there’s something i want to get off my chest.
it’s a tumor.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
get angry sometimes.
i’ve floated some gronge in my time, but this is by far the worst.
“Feel free to thwack me with a clue-by-four if I’m totally off here.”
she wears white six days a week
she was just one of those girls
and if you’re lucky on the seventh day she’ll wear nothing
she was just one of those girls
after her i quit girls
- japandroids, ‘i quit girls’
i just spent two hours concentrating on understanding math and eventually succeeding. this is an unprecedented development.
at this time last year, i was really into bon iver’s songs for emma and brian eno’s ambient 1: music for airports. right now, i am really into the album leaf’s in a safe place. maybe january is just the time for quiet contemplative music.
i’m also really into taylor swift’s ‘you belong with me’ right now, but that doesn’t fit the pattern, so i...
my eyes is vicious and don’t you know.
i am still incredibly angry about the fact that so many people unquestioningly believe that made-up, unsourced story about gandhi. it’s not that people don’t bother to research whether the story is true—i understand that people don’t have time for that shit. it’s that in the face of this lack of information, they choose to not only believe in their own minds that...
“It seemed that they came from the Internet itself. And it’s like, okay,...”
– a friend on being scared of chain letters in middle school
The Rule of Three
i’ve got three things that you might not like.
the first is goobers, that candy so sweet;
the second is beezies that turn up the heat;
the third is syphilis
and i’m really sorry.
don’t really wanna think about those things anymore;
no, don’t really wanna think about those things!
JESUS IS ATTACKING MAN THE PARAPETS
one of my more paradoxical desires is to be there when people say they miss me.
K: whoa
K: ok
K: my asterisks made everything bolded on my gchat
K: the bold text startled me
K: and then i got over it
i always think it is so disappointing when books are not about the things their titles claim they are. like ‘how to breathe underwater’ and ‘a common pornography.’ i was really looking forward to finding out how to breathe underwater. and what the common man likes in his porn.
don’t get bent out of shape, daddy-o!
fuck, i really gotta read this book,
said the man perched on the stool. his head lolled back behind his right shoulder, and his thumb idly fingered the cork on the bottle in his left hand as he pondered whether it was accurate to say that a thumb could finger something. for that matter, he wondered, why had he lolled his head to the right? was it merely to contrast with the fact that his left...
it’s rather unfortunez.
“Mahatma Gandhi on Homosexuality”
I am pretty sure the following story is almost entirely untrue, and I am shocked that it has been reblogged so many times with only one person questioning the lack of a source.
I don’t care enough about this issue to do a proper research job either, but based on about 15 minutes of Googling (a hard task, since the Pagerank algorithm has decided that the fact this story’s been...
“Beyoncé Giselle Knowles is an American singer who found fame initially with...”
– Amazon.com: I Am…Sasha Fierce (Deluxe Edition): Beyoncé: Music
Man, people talk too much.
A harsh wind bludgeons in the night. My cold soul cackles. I pay it no mind, I refuse the debt collector when it comes. I am called feckless, disloyal, a disgrace to my populace. The truth is that I am, but you can’t just say that and expect your pizza bagel at the end of the week, so I deny it all.
Thinking of the right word at the wrong time.
We had a falling out. We fell out.
Have you ever considered a career in the word sciences?
“Sounds like a retard trying to smoke a keg.”
we dress like douchebags,
we dance like the brat pack.
sometimes we forget ourselves.
my left eyeball burns.
i said that just to post something. i don’t actually think it’s worth your time to read. but i felt i hadn’t updated in a while (it has been two days), and i thought i should post so as to form good habits. i considered capitalising those two words—Good Habits, like so—but that seemed a bit overwrought and just a bit too 90s, if you know...
people who talk like that really tick me off. to be clear, ticking off is milder than pissing off but so much more irritating, like an itch in an internal organ.
One of the loveliest feelings is that of realizing that others have no idea what they’re doing either. It is a feeling nearly absent in childhood, where parental wisdom holds final sway, and in school, where goals exist apropos of nothing.
On the other hand, it’s kind of depressing that you’re about as far along as all these other stupid fucks. They’ve had five more years...
sexually charged exercise routines are fascinating, especially when they attempt to divert from their sexuality.
I’m going to start recording instances where I learn about something for the first time and then suddenly see it mentioned again a short time later in a completely unrelated source.
To wit, the instance that inspired this campaign and the first to be recorded:
A friend retweeted a FakeAPStylebook joke that mentioned Depend-brand adult diapers. This was the first time (in my memory) that...
there are three types of cool people:
cool people who are actually cool
cool people who worry too much and kind of overdo the whole thing and just don’t really totally dress cool enough
cool people who are absolutely batshit crazy and with whom the cool people who are actually cool don’t want to hang out after a while because things just get too unpredictable and radically abnormal
existential penguin.
whenever i think about it, the different ways in which the groups of friends i know manifest masculinity is hilarious.
that sentence is hard to parse. sorry.
Apparently the amount of urine I generate overnight weighs exactly 0.8 lbs (the difference between the scale reading before I took a piss and after). Further experimentation is needed.
someone farted in the soup!