hipsterism, conservatism, boner party, self-awareness, the works
soupsoup:(re:nudawn:tylercoates)
Boner Party doesn’t just write “OMG BOOBS”
The whole idea of Boner Party is celebrating all the subtle, magical things about women. It’s not about tits and ass, it’s about what she talks about, how she sees the world, what makes her unique.
If anything, Boner Party is ANTI-sexist.
(I generally avoid debating with him regarding anything on Tumblr, but this time I have my own two cents to put in and think it’s appropriate.)
He asked me last night if I thought Boner Party was sexist. On first thought, I said as a general rule, I didn’t, but I felt like there were certain posts that really destroyed whatever sort of credibility they were trying to achieve. (There actually are posts that essentially say OMG BOOBS, though they are not all like that.) I’d be surprised if there were aguyperson on Tumblr who hasn’t posted a picture of someone strictly because they find them attractive. It’s not sexist to appreciate someone’s looks. Boner Party just does it all the time. Yes, there are some posts on Boner Party that are pretty offensive. Do I think that means the writers hate women? No. I can promise you I’ve ranted on and on about how dumb/frustrating/insensitive/etc. guys are in the past. I’ve just never posted it on a blog (that I can remember).
But the issue I have is… these “subtle, magical things” they are celebrating, these things that “make a woman unique”… they are made up! They are nothing more than fantasies. It’s the quirks and idiosyncracies of ‘real women’ being manufactured by the authors. It may not just be about tits and ass, but it’s possibly even worse.
I have always been a “quirky girl”. What I’ve learned is most guys want a girl who is unique and different and fun, but don’t want to deal with the actual weirdness. They want a girl’s individuality to cater to their needs and wants. And that, to me, is what makes Boner Party frustrating, borderline insulting. These things that are supposedly “celebrating women” are actually doing the opposite. Slapping on some commentary about what you fantasize a woman is like isn’t celebrating women at all. It’s just creating more unrealistic expectations and guidelines. It’s making them fake. It’s objectifying… and that is sexist.
Which is pretty much true. Boner Party caters to a particular slice of the male demographic that subscribes to the Manic Pixie Dream Girl fantasy, hence all the talk about sitting around in your jammies and fucking while listening to Pink Floyd and then setting off to pick some berries and make jam or something. It’s actually somewhat disturbing what a conservative picture this is — domestic tranquility and suburban bliss (hence also the love of 50s pin-up girls).
Generally speaking, it’s disturbing how conservative many of the seminal works of recent hipster culture are — the desire for simple familial happiness in Animal Collective’s “My Girls” and the projected preference for particular brands and accessories (American Apparel, Converse, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Apple). Has there ever been a significant counterculture that just wanted to buy a home, make babies, go to family reunions, and buy shit?
All that said, I read Boner Party and enjoy some of the posts. Sorry ladies. I don’t dig the political implications of much of the commentary, but I think enjoyment of beauty and indulgence in MPDG fantasies is a permissible activity (I don’t suppose analogizing male fantasies of women to the male ideal implied in the “Where have all the good men gone?” sighs of many women I know will be particularly well-received, but I see the two as roughly equivalent). I promise part of the enjoyment is from the self-aware interpretation of Boner Party as subversion of the longing-and-lame-male stereotype through total embodiment. But then again, I bet everyone else who reads it can make that promise as well. They’re all just so self-aware.
